Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!

This past week, I became doubtful about the upcoming February training trip to Ethiopia. Voices in my head said, "This will never work." "You will fail and disappoint everyone." "Who do you think you are to send a team all the way to Ethiopia?" "This whole thing is insane!"

I knew I was supposed to have faith. But I was having a hard time shaking off these lies and accusations at that moment. So I turned to Scriptures. Looking for verses on faith, I came across Hebrews 10:38.

My righteous one shall live by faith.

Yes! I thought. Actually Hebrews 10:37-38 was a quote from the Old Testament. So I continued.

And if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.

My heart sank. Doubting God's grace and my role in the mission and ministry the Lord clearly invited me into, I was the one who was shrinking back. The Lord would take no pleasure in me. It was a conviction and not a condemnation. So I felt remorse. I quickly asked the Lord for forgiveness for my lack of faith in Him. I never wanted to be the one in whom His soul would have no pleasure. 

Then my eyes fell on the following verse (verse 39).

But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.

"You are not of those who shrink back but of those who have faith," the Lord clearly spoke to my heart.

Thank you, Father. My burden was lifted. The voices ceased. I heard the Lord through Scriptures. The Word breathed life back into me.